Archive for the ‘ Architectural Nightmares ’ Category

White plastic blandness

Ok, Firstly, I have to admit that I don’t like white PVC trims. There …I’ve said it.

Well, thats not true either, Its ok about 20% of the time. The other 80% it just looks like a cross between a nursing home and something a 5yr old would make at ‘art day, with your new best friend, glue!’. For a tooth analogy they are the ‘Veneers’ of buildings.

If they arent maintained well enough they then go all green and black with dirt and mold. (Repeat: It needs to be cleaned once a year, it needs to be clea…) I’m sure you will notice many a white uPVC fascia or soffit board covered in green or black moldy colours, or perhaps just the fact that you can often see more white downpipes on a modern residential house facade than you can shake a stick at. If there are going to be lots of downpipes can they at least be SUBTLE in their appearance? Or how about the tiny canopy over a doorway or pitched roof on a small shed that has an over-sized roof buildup with chunky white uPVC eaves detail ? maybe like this below

Ready for take off. Small pump house with wings

close up of eaves on pump house

All that for a couple of roof tiles?…

It reminds me of Dumbo, or Simon Cowells Veneers…or something with wings…

In any case they often look bad. An eaves treatment is a simple detail but it is one that seems to be overlooked much of the time or designed with the premise that we humans dont actually have eyes on the front of our faces!!

Check these out below.

Fascia board over canopy

Pretty terrible stuff! How can the canopy be left like this? The fascia pieces don’t fit. The white sloping eaves piece doesnt even meet the front fascia correctly, a narrow ‘in-between’ piece is stuck in the middle as marked on the picture, and even this doesn’t fit correctly. No attempt to hide this poor workmanship. But its not just here. I see it day in day out. It seems to be the norm to just let it like this, I’m just not really sure why.

Next up is this puzzle. Drainage style.

Close up of eaves and chimney

Slightly deceptive angle on this but the problem here firstly is the short gutter below the chimney at the top of the picture. No drainpipe was put in due to the tiny roof area covered by this little gutter so it is drained sideways onto the adjacent roof. It looks like it is draining upwards but this is simply an illusion due to the angle of this picture.

At least a gutter is provided here but it still doesn’t look the prettiest as a solution. Surely the extra roof bit to the side of the chimney could have been redesigned and I wonder if it was neccessary for the gutter at all. This little pointless bit of roof at the outside edge of the house could probably have been omitted, so that the roof eaves would rise up and meet the chimney stack front on and rise around the inside and up again from the back face of the stack. rather than zig-zagging around the outside creating a need for it to be drained by a gutter .

However its not as bad as this house next which has either no gutters in the first place or they were taken down at some point!

Non Guttered!

Similar situation to the house above but this one isn’t joined to another premises, but separated by a lane from the house next door in the picture. As you can see above the bit of roof around the chimney has no drainage whatsoever but check out the ugliness of whats left. It looks like a gutter was pulled down, seeing the membranes come out under the roof tiles like that. Most of the houses around had this done to them aswell, zig zag roofs around chimneys with these exposed roof eave edges.

The other thing I don’t like is, again, the joining of the PVC eave trims. From the straps that cover the edges to the pieces that join the fascias to other parts, I dislike the overall look in most cases.

Another example of the joining straps that I think look so bad.

Black PVC cover strips over eave boards

Ok it isn’t white but its still plastic and deserves its mention here!

As you can see it doesn’t look great. (big surprise there) and usually because the boards or pieces themselves lightened over time quicker than the cover strips did. They were originally wood eave trims but after these rotted in parts they were replaced by the PVC ones which will probably age better but with less grace.

I’m probably not the only one to dislike PVC in its current uses so please, feel free to email me some pics of your own architectural nightmares whether PVC or otherwise!

Why did they do that?

This series is dedicated to stuff that gets built which is weird, wonky or just plain woeful!…much of it just makes you wonder what was going on inside the persons head ( or lack thereof ) when they decided to put it up !! You will find yourself saying ‘Now, why did they do that?!

First up is this picture I snapped In Killorglan, Co. Kerry. I will add to this often with other bits and pieces I see around. This one is a Lamp post on a foothpath. Usually quite normal to see but not in this case.

Lamp Post

Nice!!! I can just imagine the conversations when it was being planned, through to putting it up, maybe going something like this:

Planning stage-ish…

Engineer in Council Office: Hey John….we are doing this project in Killorglan for the new square…

Subordinate: Yep, whats up?

Engineer: Got some literature here…these lights will do fine I’d say…have a look at them there when you can today…..they should fit in nicely with the planners ideas…emmmm..(picking out the fax and equipment info)….Ill get back to you in a few weeks just have to discuss the equipment and budget allocations with the councillor and colleagues and get some paperwork moved on it…

Subordinate: Ya no probs…I’ll do it today….Have you been out to the site?

Engineer: No I didn’t have time….Meetings all day with councillors and Residential committee members for lighting schemes in (other town name here near engineers home address)…

Subordinate: Busy so….No worries, I’ll check the literature anyway

Later that day…

Engineer: Did you look at the info?

Subordinate: Ya I did there a few minutes ago it looks fine…we used them on another scheme…a new one….no probs with them at all….

Engineer: Excellent…I’ll list it down in the budget allocations and itemisation lists for the monthly ward funding meeting tomorrow…to get some costings and paperwork moving on the equipment. I’ll be back to you next week I’d say with some drawing work for them, and final numbers ok….

Subordinate: Ok I’ll talk to you then again…

Planning/drawing stage 2 months later…

Engineer in Council Office again: Hey, John, take the feet down….how many times have I told you about that….

Same Subordinate: Oh ya, Sorry john…was just eating my lunch…

Engineer: Right…I told you tho last week, lunch is being cut from 1hrs 45mins to 1 hr and 15…so watch the time will you?!

Subordinate: (Spilling crumbs from his wide open mouth) SERIOUSLY??? thats ridiculous….how am I meant to go for my walk at lunch….drink my coffee and read the paper by the park….get my errands done around town and then find time to queu and eat out at the bistro for my lunch in an hour and 15mins??? socialist b*******

Engineer: I know, crazy isn’t it?! slave drivers up above…tchhhh….just imagine working in the private sector tho! lets be glad we arent there, a buddy of mine says he only gets an hour at lunch and 15mins at morning break….

Subordinate: Go on, you’re having me on???…(chuckle) Ok ok…. back to that job we were doing….the one in Killorglan is it?

Engineer: Yeah thats the one….I was out doing a survey all day today so I didnt have time to get to Killorglan to measure it out but Brian from next door got me some plans for the town square to position them on, and got a few measurements for ya….lets put them at 15m centres ok….I think thats fine….

Subordinate: Lets see….This is the plan of the square so….ya that looks fine (Definite sense of impending doom at that statement!)… I’ll get Paul to go out and mark it tomorrow on the paving around this corner and side.

Engineer: Great John, Just put them back 1.5m from the kerb….put them in as standard…should be fine here.

Subordinate: Yep….Ill get Paul to mark it out on his way home from work tomorrow at that distance…just scanning that map in now and I’ll put the light positions on it then, he can fill the paperwork for it too and he can file it away in the ward funding project files over there….the new town centre is getting close to deadline isnt it??….

Engineer: Ya it is now….im too busy to meet the guys on the job and they are putting some pressure on now so cant be stalling on this, lets get it down ASAP ok?

Subordinate: No worries….heres the updated plan….I just scanned it and edited the doc and showed the light positions in red here….I’ll hand it to Paul in a few mins

Engineer: Good Good…talk to u tomorrow so….

Three days later….

(Light positions marked and labourers/electricians have dug preparatory works into paving to connect wiring and equipment in right position)

Labourer/Technician 1: (Looking at hole in footpath and lamp post positioning) ehhhh….that looks a bit close to the shop doesnt it??

Labourer/Technician 2: Ya it does doesnt it?!…well im not paid to think, just to put it in as they say!…(chuckle )

Labourer/Technician 1:…Hmmmm….true….I’m sure them engineers know what they are doing …

An hour later, transporter has arrived and lamp posts unloaded and ready for final positioning as they hoist the top part of the lamp post into position…

Labourer/Technician 1: Thats not gonna stand right….it’s touching the roof eaves and its not even connected yet!!

Labourer/Technician 2: Dammmm…..better call the guys….

Labourer/Technician 1: (Dials phone number for engineer in council office previously….doesn’t get through, then dials engineer’s subordinate and explains problem…)….Ok so we should just take out some tiles and put it through that way is it? What about repositioning the lamppost altogether?…Whats that??? reception is bad. Too much time and money??….ya I suppose…we have 3 projects on over the next 2 weeks so prob wont fit it in…..ok we’ll do the tile removal option so…..

Next Day (Back in the office):

Engineer: Hey John. did Paul mark the positions out??

Subordinate: Oh…ehhhhhh….he did but I was just out there today after I got a call from the works office on site yesterday and we needed to decide something there and then….emmm…(fumbling over paperwork…)

Engineer: Something up?

Subordinate: Ya ehhhhh….We had to make a decision ok…and it seems Paul marked the positions as we discussed the last day and the Installers ordered the lamp posts and wiring and equipment for that and yesterday when they were about to put the posts in on the corner by the shop…ehhhh…we hit a problem…..the shop was just renovated as part of the square upgrades a year ago and the map we used is about 2 years out of date and the shop wall is actually closer to the kerb than we thought. The system here was never updated (Nobody knows who is supposed to update it of course) and Brian only had access to the previous version it seems which is the one he gave to you….. and Paul only marked where WE asked him to. Since all the other equipment has been ordered and the footpaths dug up in preparation to position the post it seems we are too close to that shop now and we had to take out some roof tiles after the shop owner agreed and we compensated him for that, I’m doing some paperwork for that now too! And we put the light thru the roof and then re fixed the tiles around after….Thats the short story basically.

Engineer: (Jaw on the floor, long pause follows…). ….ok…..emmmmm…..(scratching head) ….Sure it wasnt me that put them in, till be grand…..no one will notice anyway! I’d better make a few calls tho….

Lamp Post